This is an open letter to the Taxi Brousse drivers who provide the transport service from Ifaty to Toliara. Here I provide some advice to improve your business, customer feedback and general quality of the journey...
- It might be an idea to provide "foot space" in which to stretch legs on a long journey instead of the "chicken or children space" which is currently provided on your Brousses. This leaves little or no space for those appendages that occur from the knee and below...
- "I aim to fill my Taxi Brousse to the point where the combined weight of the people on board is sufficient to cause the wheel to sheer from the axel mid-transit and thus I am unable to collect anyone's fare". This is not a good business plan.
- A bench made for 7 people was not made for 10 people
- As incredible as it is that Malagasy singers can harmonise perfectly out of tune, this does not mean that they are any good.
- And no. The songs do not get any better no matter how many times you play it on loop
- Before you start picking people up in the morning, it might be worth checking that the benches in the back are still fastened to the floor.
- If said benches are not attached to the floor, duck taping them to the sides of the Taxi Brousse does not count as them being fixed.
- Try to keep your information credible. For example when asked, "Does this Taxi Brousse go to Ifaty?" And you answer, "Yes". Don't then not go to Ifaty.
- I have been in the Toliara region for nearly 6 months, you have seen me numerous times at the Taxi Brousse station. I know that the price of the Taxi Brousse is 3000Ar, not 20,000Ar, and you know I know this. So why do we have to still play this game?
- As similar as they are I would much rather have my feet sitting on a rice sack on the floor compared to having a fat Malagasy woman sitting on the floor on my feet.
- I would advise creating sanitation advice suggesting that it is recommended that if a person on the Brousse has a cold and then subsequently sneezes, it is preferred that they do not then wipe their hands on the shorts of the person next to them.
- Kids are great. However I do not want the kids of fellow passengers of the Taxi Brousse to hold for the entirety of a journey. Especially if they are incontinent.
- Please ensure that the tarpaulin with which you cover the tops of your Brousses are waterproof. Especially if you are planning on putting buckets of fish on the roof that will most likely leak and then drip onto my head.
- Live animals on top of Taxi Brousses are never a good idea. Animals urinate. A lot.
So their you have it Mr. Taxi Brousse driver. The definitive guide to improving your business. Following this simple advice will ensure that I step off the Brousse at the other end with a smile instead of the grimace which I have perfected after so many tiresome journeys in the back of your truck.
Meanwhile, a new feature, here is what Scuba Smurf has been up to this week...
"No Diving this Week"
"Updating the LogBook"
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